Being a mom is the best feeling in the world. You get these beautiful creatures and wonder how you got so lucky. Of course you'd do anything for them and all that mushy, sweet stuff everyone always says. But what about the other stuff? The not so sweet things aren't always talked about. Especially in my case. Here's 4 things I wish I would have known to better prepare myself for being a mother.
1. Some husbands aren't that involved.
When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. I was excited for all the sweet moments with my husband: Him rubbing my belly and then seeing him spend time holding our little one. But those things never happened. The movies lied to me. He never acted sweet while I was pregnant and he didn't spend much time holding our baby. I know that's not the case for everyone. But know that it is possible no matter how great the relationship is. Not every man is made to be all lovey-dovey with people they love.
2. Things can go wrong in the hospital, and it's common.
I've had two kids. Delivered by two different doctors. Now my first delivery wasn't the best. I was in labor for 24 hours and I stopped dilating at 7cm and they decided I needed a c-section right away. I was scared but everything went well. Now my second doctor for my second pregnancy was so nice. I loved her! She seemed like she knew what she was doing. But when it came time for my scheduled c-section her and her crew screwed up in a few areas. First whoever gave me my numbing medicine in my spine didn't warn me before they poked me and so I jerked when they stuck the needle in. They stuck me 4 more times the same way, and each time I jerked. And now 4 years later I still have pain in my spine every day. Then after delivering my baby my doctor told me she was going to push on my stomach and uterus so that she could get a lot of blood out which would mean I wouldn't bleed as long after surgery. Well she was completely wrong. Because I bled for NINE months after I had my second baby. I've had plenty of family that have had babies and everything went well. But it's very possible to have complications and still be okay! I went through all of that and have 2 healthy babies so it was worth it!
3. Depression After Becoming a Mom
Now I'm not talking about the "baby blues." I'm talking about months or even a year after you become a mom. Especially if you're a stay at home mom. You get this depression from staying inside so much. You don't want to leave the baby's side, so you don't. But with that comes what my mom always called "cabin fever." You stay inside so much that you get depressed, you put the baby (and spouse) first and then you don't remember to tend to yourself. So as your letting yourself go, and staying inside all the time, you have all this free time to think and you get yourself into this "funk" where it leads to depression. And it sucks. If this happens you should try and reach out to your husband or a loved one. I didn't and as a result I battle with depression even now, 6 years after my first baby. And I only just started reaching out to my loved ones about my situation.
In some cases parents get a heads up from doctors when something is abnormal with their baby before he/she is born. Things like Down Syndrome and things to do with bodily functions. But something they can't detect in the womb, or even at a year old, is autism. One in every 48 children in America is diagnosed with autism each year. My child was diagnosed at 2 years old. It was hard on me when we found out. And it's still hard now. I love my boy so much. But I wish I would have been more prepared. I wish I would have known the signs to look for. Everyone always thinks it will never happen to them. But it's so common. As a parent everyone should know that it's very possible.
I'm sure there is plenty more I could add to the list. But honestly my mom brain can't even think of more right now! Regardless of the struggles, being a mom really is the best thing in the world. Never take it for granted but also remember to take care of yourself! You are important too.