30 Journal Entries to Self Discovery—Day 20

Hello all! Welcome to day twenty and day twenty-one! Yesterday was a little chaotic and I missed my writing time so here I am! I'm sorry if you actually missed me yesterday. But you get two of me today!!! Isn't that exciting? I hope so anyway. If it's annoying then thanks for still reading. Here's the quote of the day: "It is perfectly okay to write garbage - as long as you edit brilliantly."—C.J. Chennyh

DAY TWENTY: AM I HAPPY WITH MY FAMILY DYNAMIC?

I can't say that my family dynamic is perfect. If you can say your family is perfect then you should probably be on a TV show like The Brady Bunch. I'd be lying if I said I never wished that we were the perfect little family; mom, dad, and baby. But we're not. I'd also like the record to show that I didn't always picture the perfect family with my daughter's dad. Actually, I normally imagined this scenario with Steven Tyler for some reason, judge me if you must. Anyway, we're not the perfect family. Hell, we're not even spending Christmas with my daughter's grandparents. It will be just me and her.

Not to say, I'm not happy with my family. I love my family. My parents couldn't be more supportive, my sisters are the best, and my brother and I couldn't laugh harder when we're together. My family is amazing. And as far as immediate family goes, honestly, I couldn't be happier.

My daughter and I have a best friend relationship going. It's kind of perfect. I don't have a lot of mom friends, but I've caught mom's glaring at me when my daughter runs and jumps into my arms when I pick her up from daycare. Even when I have to play mom and put her in time-out or something, we're always good about an hour later. I tell her everything. Granted, she can't really form complete sentences just yet so it's a little hard for her to repeat anything I say, but so far she hasn't spilled any of my secrets. I love how close we are. I also very much enjoy the jealousy that spills out of certain moms that exclude me in their mom chit-chat at the park when my daughter is the only one dragging me by the arm to come and play with her because I'm awesome and my kid actually likes to play with me.

My family dynamic is pretty great actually. It sucks that her dad can't be around. I wish he was...at times. At other times though, I'm grateful for the abnormally close mother-daughter relationship we share. If I could change things, I would love to say that I wouldn't, however, for the sake of my daughter, I would. If her dad could be involved and be a positive role model for her, then I would change our family dynamic in a heartbeat. But since he cannot, I'm happy. I am very happy with where my daughter and I are at. And I don't plan on changing it on her, anytime in the foreseeable future.

My thoughts: I thought this wasn't a bad question. I don't think it's one I would include in my self-discovery journal unless I was a parent or someone beginning to start a family. Being that I am a parent, it fit pretty well. Not to say that family isn't important to those without children, I just think if you're a parent, you're more likely to be the one setting the family dynamic. Not a horrible question, by any means, but I think it only really applies or rather, helps, if you're head of a family or about to start a family.