10 Things I Wish My Mom Told Me

Your body goes through major changes after child birth.

I wish my mom had told me the changes your body goes through after having a baby. I knew my body would be different but I had no idea just how different. Never mind all the obvious (and not so obvious) painful changes but this is just about the look of your body after having a baby. Your breasts change, you gain weight, your skin is loose, and your hips change. Of course everyone goes through their own changes, but I wish my mom had told me about the changes she went through so I was better prepared from a young age. I think it is important for young kids to know that mom bodies are different than those who have never had a kid.

Love your body more.

Growing up I wish my mom had been more positive about her own body. She is gorgeous, she always has been. I wish that she had more confidence in herself while I was growing up and now. Of course she’s allowed to have her own insecurities but I wish she was more willing to discuss the positive aspects of her body. Telling a young girl (me) about the positive aspects of a body that is not a size 2 really would have changed my outlook on myself and other girls while I was growing up and think that it could have helped my own self esteem a lot.

Your period is nothing to be ashamed of.

In our society anything “feminine” that makes men uncomfortable is not allowed to be talked about. Maybe my mom was not comfortable talking about it either. However I think when raising a daughter in the 21st century it is important to make sure she is comfortable with her body and knows what to expect so she does not have questions. Also, then if she does has questions she feels comfortable talking about it. I wish I had more knowledge on the body and what was actually happening. Also, I believe it is important to ensure girls are comfortable with their period. In school it can be something that is hard to deal with and often girls get bullied in ways surrounding their period. Girls who use tampons are sluts, girls who use pads are gross, if you leak you're the laughing stalk for weeks, if you're “bitchy” you're PMSing… and so on. By having a more open dialogue there’s a good chance a lot of this would not have been as much of an issue.

Wearing a proper bra is important.

One of the few things my mom was actually excited about when I was growing up was buying me my first bra. I did not want a bra AT ALL. She had to force me to wear it for so long because I had 0 interest in wearing a bra. But what we never discussed were types of bras and the importance of the proper bra and proper bra sizing. Now if you're reading this and don’t already know this…PROPER BRA SIZES ARE SO IMPORTANT. Not only are they important for comfort, back pain and chest pain BUT they are also SUPER important when it comes to fashion. If you are not wearing the proper bra size often you will end up with added back pain, the horrid “quatraboob” or awkward bits hanging out all over (or your breasts popping out). A lot of women choose to go to one of the typical mall lingerie stores that do bra sizing for you. I have had this done many times and I can honestly say, it has never resulted in me finding the proper size bra. Instead you can go to a proper lingerie store that have had their employees trained in measuring or you can find websites online that will help you. From there it is all about the look of the bra for your outfit or how comfortable YOU feel.

Added note…I recommend having more than one type of bra so you can match to the outfit that day (i.e. push up, no underwire, bralette etc.)

Not wearing a bra is okay!

I just want to add to my last point but I feel it is so important that it needs it’s own. NOT WEARING A BRA IS OKAY! If you do not feel comfortable in a bra, that is fine. You look fine, wear it with confidence my love. And to the boys, and I will be telling my own son the same thing. Girls who do not wear a bra are not sluts and are allowed to not wear a bra…I feel like this one is more of a PSA.

Know how to cook.

No I don't mean I wish she told me to learn how to cook for my husband. Instead I wish she told me how much money you'll save making your own meals and that it is important for if you ever have kids. I never wanted to cook because well, I'm a feminist and wanted food when I wanted it and did not want to wait for it to be ready. However, since becoming a mom and a mom on a budget, knowing how to cook even simple meals has come in very handy. I do wish she had taught me more about cooking meat and how to keep meat good longer.

It is okay to make mistakes, it’s even better to know when to ask for help.

Making mistakes is a part of life, if you don’t make mistakes you're not living life right. However, I wish it had been made clear to me early on that any mistakes I make can be unmade…to never be too proud to walk away and ask for help. In our society too often people try to live with their mistakes when there is so much help around them. Also, too many people judge others for the mistakes they have made. Making mistakes is how we learn and by constantly being in fear of the judgement of others it stops so many people from asking for help and fixing their life. Instead, I wish the acceptance of a mistake was instead praised while I was young, allowing me to understand mistakes are OKAY.

UTIs and yeast infections are normal.

…And nothing to be embarrassed about!!! Every women gets at least one of these in their life. It is natural. They happen and can be fixed pretty easy. But should be looked at, especially UTIs seeing as those can turn into bladder and kidney infections if left long enough. But it is nothing to be ashamed of when it happens and should be something that girls are more open about and boys have more knowledge of. Especially seeing how a lot of the time (for straight/ bisexual people) guys are the cause of these. They need to know as well how important hygiene is and it doesn’t only affect them but the people they are with as well.

Not everyone will like you; and thats okay.

Every parent tells their children to be nice and that “everyone loves my child!” Well unfortunately that’s not true. Not everyone will like you and not everyone has to like you. It is okay to look out for yourself instead of worrying about everyone else. You come first and although that is not an excuse to be mean to other people it is a reason to cut out toxic people and make decisions that benefit you.

Blood is not always thicker than water.

Yes you should care about your family. However, if someone in your family is toxic, it is okay to let go of them and walk away. Just because they are your family does not mean you need to sit by and be abused or bullied by them. No one has to right to treat you badly and the sooner you realize this the better, as you can save yourself a lot of hurt. Those who want to be apart of your life will make the effort and that’s something to always remember.