Families is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.
How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.
How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.
To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.Show less
For some people, reproduction is an evolutionary trait, for others, it's a choice. However, this does not cover everyone.
There are a lot more people out there than you realise that are actively childfree. I don't mean childless, this article isn't about people that cannot have children, it is about people that choose not to. There is a difference.
You may think that asking the woman at work why she hasn't had kids yet, or even jokingly poking fun at that young girl you know saying 'you will change your mind when your older' when she says she doesn't want kids is funny, or light hearted but honestly people. It's tedious, intrusive and borderline offensive.
God knows how people that can't have kids must feel when you say things like that to them, but again, I cannot speak for them.
So, to help you think before you speak, and to help you learn what not to say to actively childfree people, here is a good list of things that we are genuinely sick of hearing.
1 - You will change your mind when you're older.
Hmm possibly, but surely it is better to regret not having kids than regret having them, which I know people do.
2 - But your life will be so full.
If your life isn't full without kids then surely there is something to worry about? You know, my life is full 7 days a week without kids, I have no space for kids, how is your life empty without them? Worrying.
3 - You will never know love like being a mother.
Again, this worry's me. Haven't you ever loved anything other than your kids? You know, your significant other, your family, pets etc? Surely you shouldn't love one thing more than another? Surely you don't need to have kids to understand and be able to love? Hmm.
4 - But what about giving your parents Grandchildren?
Oh well? Pretty sure your parents should be supportive of your life decisions. Yes it may be disappointing to some people to never have grandkids and I understand that, however, be supportive of your own kids life decisions.
5 - Wow it must be awesome to not have any responsibilities!
Erm what? Are you kidding? Do you honestly think that because we don't have kids we don't have rent, mortgages, cars, pets etc etc etc. Just because we don't have children does not mean that we don't have responsibilities.
6 - You don't know the meaning of tired.
Yeah, because no one without children has ever been tired. We don't have jobs or lives. We all get to sleep 12 hours or blissful uninterrupted sleep every night of our lives. *eyeroll*
7 - You're being selfish.
Excuse me how? How is me choosing what to do with my own body being selfish. This one just doesn't make any sense yet it's quite a common one.
8 - But you would be such a great mum!
So? What if I just don't want to be a mum? I might well be the best mum in the whole world that has ever existed, but I don't want to be. And it's my choice, not yours, not anyone's.
9 - Aren't you worried that you won't have anyone to care for you when you are old?
Oh yes because all of those poor, lonely, abandoned old folk are all childless are they? Yeah, thought so. Having kids does not mean they will care for you, I know old folk that have no kids that have a great support network of friends and I know old folk that have kids and they haven't been to see them for years so yeah, nil point.
10 - Your pet is not a baby.
Yes it is. I love my pets, I care for them, I am their support, I feed them etc etc. You know, how you do for your kids. It's no different.
"You're so lucky you don't have kids!"
Why is that then? Do you regret having them? Let's not open that can of worms...