Unexpected Miracle

Living your life as a teenager is hard enough... especially when your life gets turned upside down within nine months.

As a kid I was the social butterfly, until my brother turned on me. Growing up with an addict brother was different. But I never let it get me down, I still went to friend's houses, birthday parties, and skating rinks with my friends. Then one day after school, my mom had to work late and my dad was always at the shop till at least 9 o’clock. But I thought my brother was home so I was good. Then an hour later, he comes barreling through the front door like a bat out of hell, screaming at me for making a mess. I could tell he wasn't right. In his eyes there was nothing. Like being in a crowded room, where you don’t know anyone. The more anger he had in his eyes the closer he stepped towards me. Finally I ran in to the wall, no where else to run to. Then it happened. He struck me with all his strength. Over and over again I felt his whole body weight hit me over and over again. The one I was supposed to be able to look up to, the one I thought I could trust, turned on me. Made me his personal punching bag for the night.

That was the day that changed my life. Being the only person in the whole school walking around all black and blue. It was the most embarrassing thing when everyone asked me, “Where’d you get the black eye?” What was I supposed to tell them? My brother beat me, no one would ever understand me. They would have never looked at me the same I was the definition of outcast

Worst. Feeling. Ever.

When I finally told my best friend, she looked at me like I came from another planet. She had the perfect life, never knew how rough mine was till that day.

That’s when it all started.

I started stealing cigarettes from my brother and sneaking out of the house to smoke them. Then I’d steal my dad's alcohol and bring it to school with me, when I would actually go to school that is. Then I finally dropped out and moved in with my alcoholic boyfriend. He was the love of my life. Made me feel human again. Made me happy. Made me feel like I was the only one in the world.

Then the “love of my life” started to do the same thing my brother always did. After three years I finally had enough and hit back. He was caught off guard by that. And I ran. I ran as fast and far as I could with him chasing me. I ran in to a bar down the street from his house. All bloody and bruised I ran up to the first person I saw. He saved my life, stood up for me and got my boyfriend away from me.

And I thought that was the worst thing to happen to me. Then I got pregnant with my alcoholic, abusive, toxic ex-boyfriend. I thought I was tied to him for the rest of my life. So I went back to him, thinking it was best for the baby. And then from all the stress and abuse, I miscarried.

I had miscarried a baby I didn’t think I wanted and yet, that broke me more than he ever had. So what did I do? I became the alcoholic, I became what I was afraid of my entire life. I became my fears.

I finally landed a good paying job that I actually kept for a long time. Met my best friend and she saved me from the alcohol. Saved me from what I had become.

Then one day I broke. I got so drunk I walked to her house and cried on her door step. Didn’t make it in the house before I passed out. Then when she got home that night. She found me passed out with a bottle in my hand on her door step. She tried to shake me to get me awake. And I wouldn’t come to.

The next morning I woke up in the hospital. Her by my side and doctors and nurses all around me. I told them I was fine, that I probably just had alcohol poisoning (yet again). And that’s when it started. The pain was more than I could handle. Worse than being beaten my a man four times the size of me. I thought an elephant was trying to rip out of my stomach. And that’s when the doctor said, “Were you trying to drink the baby away?” I looked at my best friend, then at the doctor with a face of confusion and fear.

“Your miscarriage, wasn’t actually a miscarriage. She is still alive”

Even at that point I had no idea what was going on. Then the pain came back and I screamed. And then the doctor said, “You’re in labor, you have been for the last eight hours.”

So at that point, I didn’t know how I got to the hospital or what I did that night before. I had just found out I am going to be a mother of a child that was probably not going to survive. And I thought my world was ending.

After ten more hours of labor, I finally had a baby girl. They took her away within seconds of me having her to run all the tests they could. Then I finally got to see her.

The most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever seen. She looked up at me with big brown eyes and smiled. From that moment on. I knew my life had changed. Even if she wasn’t okay, I knew she changed my life.

She was 7lbs 4oz and 20 inches long. That 7lb baby was mine. Thinking of 12 hours ago, I didn’t even remember where I was. And now I’m a mother.

Somehow she has nothing wrong with her. She is 100% healthy and the happiest baby in the world. The doctors told me that there is no way she is alive, let alone healthy. To this day, they can’t find anything wrong with her.

This is my miracle. This is my turning point. That day is when I finally realized, I am better than this. I have a reason to live. And she is looking me in the eye.

Seven months later, not one drink, not one cigarette, and not one man in my life.

I am doing this to prove I am more than a bottle. I am more than a stooge. I am more than that. She is the reason I’m here today.

So thank you baby girl. Mommy loves you more than anything in the world.