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The (Not So) Happy News

When You Need to Be Happy for Someone Else

By Bethany WintersPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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For every woman struggling with infertility, we always dread the phone calls, text, or social media posts announcing another friend/family members pregnancy. Of course we always sound happy for them; and for the most part we are. However we can't help but feel like a little piece of our heart breaks every time. We can't help but feel like it's just one more friend or family member that we are now behind when it comes to levels of life.

Every announcement is like a knife to the heart and all we can do is be happy for them. We sit there afterwards and wonder when it'll be our turn. We cry, beg, bargain, and scream at the universe. Our sadness turns into depression and that only cuts us deeper. We feel like lesser women if we can even feel like women at all. We finally spiral into a depressing acceptance that it's not yet our turn and the wound closes; at least until the next announcement when it's ripped back open.

The cycle continues on and on. It doesn't stop until we finally have what we've been waiting for. For some of us that day may never come so we just have to deal with the repeating wound for the rest of our lives. Forever wondering what could've been. Some learn to accept it and move on with their lives. Then there are some who are still in the process of the working with the doctors and the specialist who can help them achieve the impossible.

It's not just us women who feel the pain of infertility. It's the men too. Whether they deal with it because they themselves deal with infertility or it's their wives and they are just along for the ride. The men are hit just as hard. From personal experience my husband has stood by my side through out our baby journey. He sits through every depressive episode and every crying fit. He is the one that is strong when I can't be. However I know he has his days too, when his friends and family post announcements.

Ladies don't forget to comfort your SO's. It's easy in our grief to overlook the fact that they too are struggling. Even if it's not an issue with themselves, to see us suffer the way we do kills them. Infertility isn't ever going to be easy to deal with; and all of us have different ways of coping with it. When it all hits the fan we can only let it happen, there is nothing wrong with breaking down, nothing wrong with feeling the way we do. We just push through it like always and come out with one more scar added to the hundreds we already have. Not many of us can find the silver lining in this cruel game of chance. We try to come to terms with it the best we can.

The stress that this takes on us mentally and physically is horrendous. We find ourselves physically sick and can't find the strength to do even the most simplest of tasks sometimes. There is no cure and we wish like hell that there was. We will continue to cry, beg, bargain, and scream at the universe, at the world, and at ourselves. We will continue to fight tooth and nail for the chance to be parents. Yes we will have days where we feel like we are on the right track and then we are going to have days where we feel like we will never reach our goal; but we will continue. We will continue.

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About the Creator

Bethany Winters

Im 26 and married to a wonderful dorky husband.

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