The Heck With 'Normal' Parenting!

I have been a mother for more then half my life. I have seen just about everything there is to see and experienced more then my fair share of ups and downs. I keep chugging along knowing that what I do is NOT considered "normal."

I've witnessed all of these moms out here that act like they've got it together and I think to myself, "You, ma'am are full of it!" Go ahead and plaster that smile across your face and pretend that you've got it all figured out. I will be over here dealing with the real-life situations.

My oldest child is 22 and the youngest is a mere 6 with 14-, 13-, and 12- year old's shoved in the middle of that. The youngest and oldest are girls and the three in between are boys. THAT is right about the time you learn about anxiety.

I always wanted my children to be capable of talking to me. And we do about everything, including all of the stuff you have ZERO desire to hear about. We have always had family dinners where we really do toss around the most bizarre and disgusting topics. But I LISTEN. You know why? Because between all of the lewd nastiness that spews forth over your pork chops, you're able to learn things about each and every one of them. So it's no-holds-barred. Game on, but you can't get mad. That's where they start shutting down and shutting you out.

There have been many times I have been approached because of how I handle my children. I have never been big on the physical aspect of it, but I will do things to really make them THINK. I have a saying, "After 5 to 7 words, they no longer hear you." I certainly hold true to that. But punishment will be things that make them take a good look at what they did and how they behaved. I also don't hold any punches with my words. My children will one day be adults and I am not going to coddle them. I give it to them straight, even if it involves a "naughty" word. Life isn't always cupcakes and rainbows, folks! I don't need my kids finding offense in every single thing that they hear from others.

My children get gifts twice a year. That's it. Birthday or Christmas. I don't feel like I need to buy them something every single time I run out to the store. No, you don't need a drink. No, you don't need that toy that you'll lose all the pieces for by the end of the day. No, you don't need to nag me every time I need to buy a gallon of milk! Then you've screwed up because then they'll think they're entitled to get something every time you go! I hear parents pleading with their children to behave in a store. I hear people begging their kids to stop. They'll buy them such and such if they behave. Not this lady! I will not let my children terrorize me! This isn't a world of handouts. This is life in a nutshell. We aren't always going to get what we want. My kids have to earn money for the things they want in between birthdays and Christmas. Also, a bonus applies here. They respect it! They dish out 100 bucks on something that they wanted and it breaks? Guess who's out the 100 bucks?

Please don't judge me if you see me out with my kids and I am in the car with them listening to hardcore rap, heavy metal, rock, punk, or anything in between. When we are in the car, it's music time. They take turns picking songs. I don't care how "lewd" or "inappropriate" the music is. It is a form of expression and I promise you. My kids don't go around dropping the "f" bomb because I allow them to listen to what most consider inappropriate. Plus, you earn cool point for singing along.

Yes, I will allow my children to dye their hair and if they choose to get piercings I am alright with that, too. Again, it is self-expression. I don't want to repress how they want to look. I don't feel like any of them should be shoved in a pair of khakis and taught to conform. This is the one time in their life that they will be able to express themselves this way. Once we grow up, most of us do have to conform to the social standard.

So many times I have questioned my abilities. SO many times I have tried to be the best and have failed miserably and been let down by disappointment, not because of what other people expected of me, but the unrealistic expectations that I had mobbed onto myself.

I knew that I wanted a large family and I am thrilled that I have them. They are my life. They are my salvation. They are also the reason I question my sanity almost daily!

My love for them is intense and it keeps me going. But for all the other times in between? There are those precious moments of downtime!