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The Best Day of My Life, Turned Worst Day to Remember

True Story

By Reina_zo XPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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My Boy

Worst day to remember?

You’re probably wondering how finding out I was pregnant could possibly be the worst day to remember.

Well, finding out I was pregnant was probably one of the most happiest days of my entire life. Thrilled, was an understatement.

Over the moon was my boyfriend, as was I, we couldn’t be more pleased. Weeks and weeks went by, we booked an appointment to see the nurse. Emotions were running wild as my partner and I waited patiently in the waiting room, full of beady-eyed young mums. Oh, did I leave out I was only 18?

Even in this day and age, some people disagree with young mums. For example, my parents are very old fashioned and they weren’t quite as ecstatic as we were to hear the news I was with child. I was kicked out.

Silence was all around as we nervously walked into the room where machines beeping were the only form of noise.

As I lied there, bursting with excitement to hear MY little baby’s heart beating, the heart beat that my partner and I created all on our own, despite the worry of my beautiful bundle of joy not knowing their grandparents. The words every eager expectant mother does NOT want to hear.

“I’m sorry, it appears we can’t find the heartbeat.”

Earth shattering news, no words spoken by myself or my partner. Just empty glares to one another. ‘This can’t be real’ I thought to myself. The nurse spoke up and asked if I needed a moment for it to sink in. A moment to sink in? How could I ever accept the fact I failed as a mother to carry another human life. It’s all my fault.

Stillborn.

An experience I NEVER want to go through again. Physically and incredibly mentally challenging.

Reassurance is something a lot of people tried to give to me. Doctors? My partner, my family, my friends, telling me it wasn’t my fault, that it just wasn’t my time. Isn’t it amazing how my family who were so against me having my child were the ones to be comforting me more than anyone.

No. I won’t accept that. I feel awful! How could anyone ever love a murderer!

My partner spent days and weeks trying to comfort me, I was distraught. It had killed me as a person. My whole identity ripped from me.

Support. For me I was incredibly lucky to have the best support system there is. My loving partner who stood by me through the whole process, even though he was grieving just as bad, my family kept me strong and busy to take my mind off it for at least a little while, my friends entertaining me just to see me smile a crack. I would not be here today if it wasn’t for the support I had.

Unfortunately for a lot of young women in these situations, support is not always an option. Sometimes they have to just rely on self strength. Well to those women who support themselves in times of need like this. I salute you. Losing a child, whether it be two weeks old in your tummy, nine months old or even from birth to any age, is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. To pick yourself back up after such a dramatic fall, is incredibly strong.

There’s not one day that goes by where I don’t think of my boy. Blue eyes, fair blonde hair, pale skin, soft to the touch. But I picked myself up. It wasn’t anything I had done, I finally accepted it just wasn’t my time. Although, it haunts me day-to-day, I will always be a mother, who lost her baby.

In conclusion, my story here explains why the best day of my life, turned out to be the worst day to remember. A day full of hope and ambition for my young tot.

Taken from me.

Gone.

By Reina_Zo

family
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About the Creator

Reina_zo X

I just love to write stories

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