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Special Days

Life changing days when you have lost someone important.

By Melissa BalthropPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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I am two days away from marrying the man of my dreams and I could not be more excited. I am also having a difficult time because two years ago my dad passed away because of cancer.

Throughout this whole process I have learned so much about me and how I am really handling my grief. I have also learned a lot about how my family deals with grief.

Back to my wedding though! The picture with this post are some of the flowers I made for my wedding. I have loved books for as long as I can remember and when I met my soon-to-be husband, we shared a love for books I knew that had to be the theme for our wedding.

I have been dreaming about this day for most of my life and it seems weird that it is actually happening! I am excited to see all of my family that is coming in for the wedding and for sharing this special day with the man I love and our friends and family.

What I want to say to those of you who are reaching life changing moments in life and can’t share it with someone because they are no longer on this earth know that it is okay to be sad that they aren’t there. Know that it’s okay to be happy.

These are two things that have taken me a while to learn and I am still working on them. Some days I feel so happy I almost forget that my dad is gone but when I want to call him and tell him about the great things happening he isn’t there. It’s those moments when it can feel awkward to feel happy but I promise those moments do come and cherish them because that’s how you know you are growing.

So some of the other events that have happened since my dad passed. I graduated from college 10/14/2016. I got engaged. I planned a wedding (with the help of my mom). I got laid off from my old job. I moved three hours away from where I grew up.

All of these things happened and every time I wished I could talk to my dad about things. Some may not believe in God but I do and God is the only reason I have made it as far as I have since my dad passed.

I am working on being the best version of me which isn’t always easy.

Another thing that happens when someone special in a family dies is that family either grows closer or grows apart. For me this is the hardest part because while my mom and I grew closer during the last two years helping each other through our grief, my sister seems to be keeping herself away.

To some this may not seem like such a bad thing but when all the special moments in your life happen it’s hard to be happy when one of the people you want to celebrate with doesn’t want to be a part of anything. I love my family and made a promise to never completely stop talking to my sister but it has been hard here lately.

Sometimes it can be really hard to see someone you love struggle with grief which is exactly how I feel about my sister. I see her destructive behavior and know that a lot of how she is acting is because she doesn’t know how to handle grief. So if you or someone you know is having a difficult time after the death of a loved one please seek help or listen to your family when they ask you to get help.

In conclusion my dad isn’t going to be able to walk me down the isle like I always dreamed but he will be with me. Even though I miss him like crazy I am going to enjoy starting a new family unit with my husband.

grief
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About the Creator

Melissa Balthrop

I am a newlywed who loves to read. My family and books are what gets me through the day most days.

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