Running All Day—Getting Nowhere

Some days, I get up to a clean kitchen, lunches made, the smell of coffee in the air, and I just know it's going to be a great day.

Other days, well, last night's supper dishes are still everywhere, kids' lunches aren't made (would I be a bad mom if I just threw a can of soup in their bag?), and coffee only happens way later than it ever should. These are the worst days, when I feel totally unmotivated to do ANYTHING but there are things piling up everywhere just begging to be done.

What's worse is on these days, whether it is true or not, it feels like for every step forward you take several steps back. Like a hamster on a wheel, despite spending more energy than you even knew you had, you are getting absolutely nowhere.

That was today. Slept in too long, had to rush to get the kids' lunches made, and them out the door to the bus. Baby didn't want to settle down for his usual morning nap, so I spent all morning with him on my hip. Had so many things to tackle and just couldn't.

Hubby called and I joked that I was grateful that Wal-Mart wasn't delivering my order today, because I so badly needed a shower I didn't want to answer the door! So, of course, guess who—for the first time EVER—delivered early? In my disheveled state, I schlepped down the stairs to get the box wondering just how badly did I need dishwasher soap, granola bars, and baby formula. Maybe I could just pretend I wasn't home.

Noon rolled around and I made myself a fresh hot coffee and sat down for a much-needed break. Click, click, click... I glanced down at the time; an hour had passed. Thanks, Zuckerberg. OK, really, time to get going now. Kitchen clean, laundry loaded, baby up, changed, and fed, snack prepared. Why doesn't the house look any cleaner?

'Cause it's just one of those days. Hubby gets home and says, "so, what's for supper?" He was asking in the most innocent tone, really just curious what I had planned. I knew that. Yet, a part of me at that moment had such violent, angry thoughts. I reply, "Chicken nuggets and mac & cheese." He raises an eyebrow, looks at me, and says, "You planned that?"

YES. Yes, I planned that, because it's just been one of those days. So, I am going to treat myself kindly, not bite off more than I know I will be able to accomplish, and keep my sanity intact, hoping that tomorrow will be better.

Girls get home from school and a war breaks out over the bathtub. They, like their mother, love a good soak after a long day, and it seems that today's frustrations did not strike me alone. So here I am, again dying to shower, but waiting for both girls to let their worries flow down the drain. Hopefully, once everyone is in bed, I will get that chance, too!

I was a "spirited child" and faced many challenging days in my youth. My mother would tuck me in bed at night and always say, "Tomorrow is a fresh day, with no mistakes in it" (a quote from our favorite: Anne of Green Gables). No doubt I will use that quote to comfort my girls tonight, and will close my eyes thinking about it.

What will I accomplish tomorrow? What little victories will I enjoy? What milestone will baby hit? What will my girls do to make me absolutely burst with pride?

It's all out there waiting, in my fresh day! I can't wait to open my eyes to it.