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On My Way

Growing up Separated Part 1 (MOM)

By Zachery LeePublished 7 years ago 12 min read
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So I guess we'll start from the beginning, where things really started going downhill. My parents separated when I was 13; now I have plenty of good stories to tell from even before this time, but I want to hit these crucial points so you may understand exactly where I am coming from and how I got to where I am. We'll spend plenty of time delving into the other stories in the future. Shall we start with the lead up to the move then? We'll start with Mom.

Mom had been feeling neglected for a good while. Dad worked all the time trying to support the family and make sure all the bills were paid. He would leave for work around 5am, and wouldn't return home until 6 in the evening, sometimes later depending on the work day. I spent a lot of time with my mom growing up, with her being a stay at home mom, and me being the baby of the family; she and I were virtually inseparable. It wasn't the healthiest relationship though, Mom didn't really push me to do more like, go to school, or do my homework, or anything really. It got so bad that she eventually got herself a job at the school I went to as a lunch lady so that she could be there for everything... which sounds great at first, but she also tried to spoil me while I was in school.. Didn't work to her favor. This was a good step though as, with her being there I started getting more involved in the extracurricular activities such as plays and even staying after school to do latchkey and other tutoring of sorts. I eventually became the first boy cheerleader (mascot) in the elementary school. Mom made the costume and it was definitely a smash hit on the basketball court. We can dive back into that later though, let's get back on track here.

Eventually, she left the school, and hopped around trying to work at different places and keep her mind off of home life. Mom, feeling neglected, starting talking to and seeing an assortment of different men. Mainly to feed her intimate desires and lack of company. The first (that I know of) and biggest fault was a guy named Joe. He was pretty great, as far as I could read the situation being as young as I was. He raced dirt bikes and that was enough for me in the moment. He actually bought me and my brother our first manual shift dirt bike. I'll remember it always, it was a little 50cc Honda CR trail bike. He was very temperamental though and just like with late nights with Mom and Dad, I'd witnessed him put hands on my mother. Didn't like it but it was out of my control. Eventually, Mom got caught red handed with Joe at our home. My 2 brothers and I were in the truck with Dad and, watched as Dad went into the house and booted him out by the mullet on his head. Screaming and breaking inside of the house is all we heard and saw. Dad chased him out whaling on him every step of the way. This is where it started.

After many long nights of yelling and physical confrontation, leading up to my 13th year, my parents sat all of us boys down and gave us the choice to live with whom we chose. My brothers didn't want me to live with them so I was persuaded into moving with my mom while they stayed with Dad.

Mom started taking me out to different places with her to meet new people she had been getting involved with. The Moose Lodge was one of her favorites. I had met a lot of people in school who would sometimes go there as well. One of the most memorable nights I spent there was a lock-in event and ALL of my school friends and their parents came out. While the parents were busy getting drunk and enjoying themselves, all of us kids were playing pool and darts and running up tabs for our parents to pay at a later time. Spin the bottle came into light a lot that night. Mom and I ended up getting into a house with her new toy Ken. Ken was a contractor of sorts, never really cared to know what his full position was honestly; he also had a son of his own from a previous marriage. Patrick was his name. Big goofy looking oaf, in his 20s. Stumpy, gumpy looking kid who had plenty of learning disabilities and did not do well at all in school. He tried though and he was a good kid, just very misguided. Ken and I didn't see eye to eye on ANYTHING, and Patrick and I didn't get along too well either. But this was my mom and I wanted her to be happy.

Eventually, things with Ken's work started to go south, we had to move into an apartment that was too small for the people living in it. One night, Ken and Mom got into an argument, it was a school night, I was in bed and Patrick in the bunk below me. As the screaming continued, I heard him hit my mom and she started screaming and crying as loud as possible. I couldn't take it so I ran out to the kitchen to find them both leaned in at the kitchen table. Ken was still yelling and didn't realize I had popped into the picture. When he did see me, all of his aggression doubled, I could see it in his eyes that he was drunk off his rocker. I said to him, "Hit her again and I'm going to stab you," as I was picking up a kitchen knife struggling to hold back the tears in my eyes. He laughed and picked up a bigger one taunting me. So I threw the knife I had and picked up an even bigger one waving it in his face yelling, "I'm not fucking scared of you. I will kill you if I have too!" He came after me swinging the knife he had, I dodged and went to stab him in the side. I kind of blanked so I'm not 100% sure if I got him or what the case was, but I knew when I came too, he was gone, and Mom was crying her eyes out yelling "What did you do?!" I had no idea how to react at this so, we both broke down in the kitchen and cried it out for the next few hours. Ken was gone, and Mom was broken all over again.

Over the next little while, I started to become more and more addicted to cigarettes and drinking. I did what I wanted to and didn't care what the cost was. I started skipping school and more or less just living however I pleased. Mom eventually made me move back to Dad's HOPING he would knock some sense into me. It worked for a short period of time, but with my brothers also living there, we didn't get along in the slightest and I wasn't willing to stick around for it. So I promised my mom I would get my grades back up and I would start going to school and being good for her. It worked and I was back with Mom in the apartment. My brother Alec moved in for a while, Dad had kicked him out at 17 and made him figure out all of his own shit in life. He had a job and was making REALLY good money as a vacuum salesman but he was also addicted to painkillers and a SERIOUS alcoholic at that time. My sister Danielle would often come over to throw parties at the apartment. Usually that meant BOTH of my brothers would be there, and fights would break out more times than less. Inviting tons of people that we all knew, and more or less using the place as a pad of her own to fuck all my brother's friends. With me being the baby of the family I usually got pushed aside in these scenarios so I would sneak some Jungle Juice, steal some cigarettes, and spend the majority of the night in my room playing video games. It worked out for a while but eventually Mom caught on and when that happened, everyone stopped coming over.

With Ken now gone for a good lengthy period of time, Mom started going out again, I'm not sure where she met this guy, but she stuck with this one for the next 4 years and has been with him since. His name is Barry, another decent guy after getting to know him for a while. Barry is an ex meth head who has had 2 children, now fully grown and trying their damnedest to support their own lives... usually they have to fall back on him though. Chelsea and Brian are similarly goofy, outgoing kids who really are kind of just "living to live." Big hearts and blissful ignorance is key in this family, and it worked out pretty well for them. Anyway. Mom and I moved into Barry's trailer out in the half-ass boonies, where my bedroom was a small corner behind the curtain that separated the "living room" from the wall behind the porch. In this time I became a very disgruntled child who was learning to live and love again. Mom had made me repeat the 8th grade so not only was I the oldest kid in my class, but I was also one of the shortest... it worked for me though, meeting new people was pretty easily done, even though that's not what I came for. I dressed in all black most days, and I tried to stay away from the crowd. The crowd eventually found me though and being the person I am, I let them in without any hesitation.

This is where I met my buddies Alex, Dillen, Gage, and a few others. One that I will never forget, no matter how hard I try; My first REAL love. Christina. I fell head over heels for this girl, but my friends, and the rest of the school... didn't really approve of it. I felt terrible in the way that it ended, but after finding out some other things that I missed, although I still loved her, I couldn't really combat the other parts of the story. I was convinced to break up with her, I didn't want to so instead I told her that I wanted to "take a break" which I followed up with some real reasoning that I'm sure didn't make any sense at the time, but I didn't want to look stupid in front of my friends so I went through with it. I told her my brother Colin just got out of jail (True) and that he moved in with us (Also True). I was stressed over living and needed to give myself space to figure out my life (True Again). We were basically spending every day together as often as we could. I really did love her, but she didn't love me the same. I found out after all the nonsense that she was cheating on me while we were dating and that she had slept with one of my friends on multiple occasions. However bad those things may seem, I think the worst part about this whole situation (Going back to "taking a break") I overlooked the fact that IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY when we did it. As soon as the announcement came over the loudspeaker, I dropped my head to the table and lost it. I even went shopping for her the night before, but somehow managed to miss it in the heat of the moment. Days went on though, and we still hung outoccasionally, every girl in the school hated me after that. But after a while, a few of them wanted to jump in the sack with me. It was a weird time.

Back on Barry and Mom though. By this point we had moved into Barry's parents house right across the street from the trailer we had. Colin had been living with us for a while and I started to heavily dip into mischief. I was on probation for multiple counts of domestic violence against my mother, her boyfriend, and my brother. I was a mess and not getting anywhere fast. I wanted more out of life and it just wasn't there for me. So naturally acting out was the best solution at the time. I would stay out late and come strolling in the house around 5–6 am blackout drunk and stoned out of my mind with a 5th in one hand, and a 2L in the other hand. Barry and I had multiple physical confrontations involving weapons from time to time. He had me arrested for stealing the car my mom had. I guess technically I did steal the car, but at first it was all in good intent. Mom was sick and needed some medicine. Nobody was available to help with that so I took the car to go to the gas station to hopefully get some cough syrup and see if I couldn't get someone to buy me a pack of cigarettes. I'm sure there was a confrontation and Mom telling me not to do it, but again, with me being me and not really listening to anything anyone said but myself... I did it anyway.

I got locked up more than a few times while I was living with my mom, from domestic violence to assault charges. Breaking and entering to theft followed up by grand theft auto. Deadly weapons charges on a few occasions and a whole lot of physical strain and pain on the way. It was not the greatest place for me to be, but I made it work in my own way. My own way usually consisted of late nights getting stoned and drunk off my ass trying to find my place. Bomb fires where I would be dragged around by large dogs while I was too inebriated to function. Walking in the house, crashing out stone cold on the couch without a care in the world. The purpose of this insert was to let unfold the outlines of what really went on that slowly built me as an individual. I have a lot of details and inside stories within this story that are yet to be told. Stay tuned.

Written and lived by: Zachery Lee

siblingshumanity
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About the Creator

Zachery Lee

Just a loner kid who's been through some things in his life. I have mountains of stories to tell, not all of them clean... I hope that my stories inspire, and maybe even teach you a bit of something about life.

Proceed with caution.

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