Mommy Issues Are Real, Too

Growing up with a toxic parent is hard enough, especially when they're the one who brought you into this world. Girls with absent fathers are usually taunted or used as a kink. We've alllllll heard of "daddy issues." What about the girls who had to learn about womanhood for themselves?

Why It's Hard Having a Toxic/Absent Mother

The constant feeling that the person who created you doesn't want you.

It's hard dealing with the fact that the one person you're supposed to be able to rely on no matter what wants nothing to do with you.

When they do come around, it's nothing short of a pity party.

Sure, they make their usual three stops a year to see you. They're filled with I love you's, only to be followed by guilt trips of why you don't make more of an effort to have a relationship. They use your feelings of self doubt to keep you on a short leash.

The term "I'm your mother!" gets thrown around like peanuts at a baseball game.

It never fails. You attempt to finally break those chains and go your own way when she hits you with these very words. It makes you sick to your stomach with guilt you know you shouldn't have. Yes, she is your mother, but you owe her nothing. Still, she knows the strings she has attached to you and boy, does she know how to work them.

Every time you need her, she's nowhere to be found.

It could be anything, from learning how to curl your hair to going on your first date. The majority of young girls have a mentor when it comes to these things. Most mothers dream of the day they get to help their young girl blossom into a woman. Not yours. You have to teach yourself how to apply mascara, zip up your own dress, and god forbid you teach yourself how to use a tampon (one of many terrific learning experiences). Through many trials and errors, you've learned how to teach yourself most of life's vital lessons without her. Many memories most mother/daughter partnerships look on for years, you will look back on as some of your hardest days.

Last, but not least...when you finally break free, you long for the woman she could've/should've been for you.

After all the long fights, harsh words, and tears, you finally break those chains. Things feel great, as if a weight has been lifted. Months later, you start to see the relationships everyone else has with their moms. That's when it really starts to hit home. You're going to need someone to help you through so many steps in life.

Don't ever forget, we aren't our mothers. Because of the lessons she made us teach ourselves, we are much, much stronger. May we all raise our daughters to know they never have to worry how far our love for them goes.