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Into the Lion's Den

One Trauma to Another

By Miranda FloydPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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If you forget to water a flower, it'll surely die. If you run over a flower garden, it'll fight to survive. With people it's the same concept. When I was in my mid-twenties I met a boy who was three years my junior. For whatever reason, I fell madly in love and that blinded me so badly that I led him ruin me. He stole everything I knew right before my eyes and I never did a thing to stop it. He was the love of my life, or so I had thought. He was the true love I had dedicated my life to trying to find. But he was the most toxic person I had ever met. He was draining the life from me and I never even realized it. For three years I fought for a little boy that didn't even want a future with me. Not even after I had our daughter. He was constantly in and out of our lives and when I had finally bent over backwards to keep him happy I got kicked while I was down.

I would cry to try every time we fought with how he treated me and I got "here come the water works." He would hold me down by my throat when he didn't like what I said, he would storm out and act like he was going to hit me when we fought, and I would be left to deal with the wreckage of what he did. But then the final straw was that he was cheating on me with none other than his stepmom. So I left and went home to live with my mother and stepdad, who, as a matter of fact, were not much better. I had gone from one abusive situation to the next without realizing it until later on. My stepdad would treat me like a charity case, belittling me and my situation like I was nothing better than that. Maybe I was a charity case. I was twenty-five with now two kids and had just gotten fired from the only job I had ever known.

Meanwhile, my mother was no better. She would constantly body shame me and tell me what was wrong with me. I should be healthier, wear different clothes, be a people person, and don't I want to be happy with my body? Don't I want to be thinner? But I was happy with myself overall and dealing with my depression and anxiety wasn't easy. What made it worse was hearing how horrible of a person I was from my mother. But it eventually went from that to verbal threats. Telling me she wanted to hit me in the back of the head when I didn't agree with her or to take all my pills. Every time I would tell her that she was abusive she would turn it around on me and tell me that I am, and that I was no treat to live with.

I was trapped and had nowhere to go. I hated my mother and I hated living with her. All I could do was sit in my room and cry when my daughters went to sleep. My life was quickly falling apart. But then, when my mental health was at its worst and I found myself wanting to end my life rather than better myself. So, I went and saw help. I'm still stuck in that environment and I'm still coping with the trauma, but I'm working on getting the hell out of here and bettering my life. I can't let my girls suffer the way I have.

immediate family
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About the Creator

Miranda Floyd

I'm a hopeless romantic who dreams of maybe one day publishing their own book. I have two daughters, one son and two step daughters. I was a pre-k teacher for six years.

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