If I Would've Been Friends With My Grandmother

My grandmother, whom I called Nonna, which is Italian for grandmother, passed away this summer on June 22, 2017.

It definitely is odd, knowing she isn't around anymore. My grandfather has lost his love and companion of almost 54 years. I can't even imagine how he is feeling.

I am the oldest of four grandchildren on this side of the family. So, technically I've known Nonna the longest. However, the age difference, and college and just other things in life have made me feel that sometimes I did not know this woman fully.

She had a love for bling of any and every type. She loved to shop, and especially in the last few years of her life, online shop. She also had a passion for bingo and gambling, as evident on weekends to Atlantic City with friends and the cruises we would go on as a family every 2 years.

The woman could cook. Lasagna was her specialty. She would also make the grandkids breakfast whenever we stayed over at her house. Her kitchen was full of those silly chefs, and my grandfather hated them. She thought they were cute.

She would take me on trips during the summers when I was younger. When I was 9, she took me to Nashville, TN, and I still regard it as one of the best trips I've ever taken. She also took me to Disney World. And Ocean City, MD. I will definitely remember those trips, and I look back on them fondly.

I spent a lot of "time" with Nonna over the few days after her death. I made a video showcasing pictures from different moments in her life to play at her memorial service. It's nice how she looks the same and I can definitely pick her out from a crowd.

However, as I got her wedding pictures, I felt an even stronger connection to her. My grandfather was 21 and she was 18 when they got married, in 1963. That blows my mind. I am engaged myself, and I will be older than my grandmother was when I get married! I couldn't even imagine getting married at 18!!!

She looks so different to me. Ok yes, she was younger than when I knew her, but that's not just it. I kept thinking to myself, would I, as an almost 22-year-old who is about to get married in a little less than 7 months (!!!), seek out not only friendship, but the advice from a woman who was so much younger than I will be getting married. Not to mention, this woman is basically responsible for my existence....

It sucks that I just found these pictures now. I really just want to call her and ask her so many more questions that I never even thought of. What was the color scheme? What flowers did you use? What song did you and Poppy dance to? Of course, her wedding was in the 60's and drastically different, but I am a wedding guru so I would love it. The conversations we could have had, I really regret not even thinking to ask. It wasn’t out of rudeness, it just wasn’t anything that was even on my mind at the time.

I am extremely thankful I got to know the woman who was my grandmother. But, after looking through all of the many photos and memories, I really do wonder what it would have been like to know the young woman she was as well. You don’t really realize that the people you’ve known your entire life also have had more experiences outside of your existence. I was only a small part of 22 of the 72 years that Nonna was around. The concept is baffling to me, that there was so much more to her than I ever thought I’d know.

Since her death, I’ve had the time to reflect and think. I still miss her terribly, and wish she could see me at the point in my life I’m at now. But I know, no matter what, she would be proud of me. I just wish I could talk to her again.