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I Don't like You Very Much, Mom

And Here Are All of the Reasons Why

By Victoria FeilPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Photo by Dawid Sobolewski on Unsplash

Momma,

I just want to take the time to tell you why I have never really liked you.

You always wanted the best for me and you always did the best for me.

You taught me what love and respect is. You and Dad have a relationship that is so admirable. Even after all of this time, two children, life's ups and downs — you still love and cherish each other.

You never cared what I wanted to be when I grew up. From a young age, you have always instilled in me that no matter what I chose in life that happiness is the most important. I am so lucky to have a mom that would say that. That is one of the greatest gifts that I have ever been given.

You have always looked at me with this look that you know I will be okay. Always. You always tell me that you worry about me but I can see in your eyes and feel it in your heart that you have the utmost trust that things will always work out for me.

You gave me your strength, your determination, and your strong work ethic.

You said that I could be whatever and whoever I wanted to be.

You stood by me in times when I made mistakes with no judgement. You always assured me that we would and could get through anything.

You told me that no matter who I ended up dating or marrying, the only thing that mattered was that they were good to me and that they loved me.

You have always protected me.

You allowed me the space to make my own mistakes and you pushed me to grow and learn from them.

You always told me that everything happens for a reason and that good things will always come from the bad things.

You were a young momma, and I am so happy that you were. I got to meet you a little bit sooner and we get to grow together.

You told me that you picked my name because it meant "victorious."

When I was five you took away my birthday party. That was a little traumatizing but I can assure you that I was a lot less of an asshole because of that.

When I was little and we used to go to the movies you would put your leg on my seat to stop it from flipping me up and squishing me into the seat. Ahh, the little things. 17. You did the best with what you have. I know that, I can see it, and I can feel it.

I am so lucky that I can just pick up the phone and call you and you will be there, no matter what.

You always found the time to be so polished. Your hair was always done and you always had make up on.

You taught me the importance of being kind to others. Always.

You always welcomed my friends with open arms.

You stuck with me even when I was going through that "difficult" teenage stage. I don't know how you did it. Seriously.... I am in for a real treat if I ever have children.

You held my hand when we walked across the street and you still hold my hand as I walk through life.

You were the first person I loved.

You inspire me to show up and be the best person that I can be.

You relentlessly tell me how proud you are of me. It will never get old. And every single time I see you or talk to you, you always tell me that. Even if it was because I just made myself dinner. "Aww, honey, I am so proud of you."

I will never have a relationship with anyone like I do with you.

So, to be honest, I have never really liked you.

I have always fucking loved you, from the depths of my soul and the bottom of my heart. You aren't my mother by mistake. You are my momma because we are meant to be in each other's lives. To learn, to grow, to share, to cherish and to love and be loved.

I can't thank you enough for everything that you are and everything that you have always been to me. I wouldn't change one single thing about you. I am so proud of you.

If I could choose you to be my mother in another lifetime, I would choose you a thousand times over. You are perfect to me.

I don't even like you a little bit, in fact — I don't like you at all.

I fucking love you.

Forever and for always.

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About the Creator

Victoria Feil

Love and kindness.

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