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How Addiction Can Tear A Family Apart

An explanation as to what causes rifts in a family when dealing with addiction.

By Savana VerretPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Addiction is one of the worst things a person and their family can endure. It has its ways of creating a rift among everyone, not just the addicted and their loved ones. How, you might ask? Well, let's go over a few key points.

Firstly, everyone has their own ideas of what the next step should be. The parents or guardians may want to choose a less harsh route, while siblings or other family members may want to get straight to it regardless what it takes. Sometimes an intervention doesn't work, and they're left at square one. If the individual with the addiction is 18+ years old, it's ultimately up to them. But, in some more severe cases, the family has to step in and make a decision to get their loved one help before it's too late. As a sister of someone who was addicted to methamphetamine, I can vouch for all of this. I personally wanted my sister to go straight to rehab, since she was willing. My parents, however, preferred she just talk to someone who was in the same position as her. This caused a small separation among us. I believed that the blunter the treatment, the better off she'd be; my parents thought otherwise. In the end, the final selection was my sisters, but it didn't stop us all from having much different opinions.

While still on the topic of different perspectives, families tend to argue amongst themselves, believing that some friends or family enabled the user. For example, if a friend/kin didn't do anything such as notify the police; rehab center; or other relatives about what was going on the nothing could be done to help this person. Therefore, allowing them to continue their destructive habit. The friend/family member might defend themselves, saying they didn't want to do further harm; then, in turn, being told that just letting them go about it the opposite of what they were trying to do. And it goes on from there, causing people to take sides with what they believe and how they feel. Alongside that, some relatives may choose to not forgive the user. They might grow angry and stay that way due to the trauma to the person and the family, as well as the lethal doings they've inflicted upon themselves. Others may choose to forgive them, understanding that they are human and they do make mistakes. This also causes tension among the family, some not comprehending how they can't forgive them and vice versa.

Finally, if the unfortunate event that the person addicted passes away because of it, families are truly torn apart at this point. Some people believe there could've been more done to help them; that they brought it all upon themselves; that the parents didn't do a good enough job raising their child; and much more. Here is when the blaming really begins to bloom. A mother and father may pit against each other, saying one of them did one thing to cause it and vice versa and so on. A sibling accuses the parents of not doing everything they could. Friends viewing the family different due to the loss. A significant other, incriminated for not knowing or doing something to aid them. The finger-pointing carries on, but none of it changes the fact that their loved one is lost, which makes the whole ordeal even worse.

The moral of all this is that during a time of immense distress, even the strongest and closest of families can be ruined by addiction. If your family is suffering, convey to them that there is a dire need to stick together and help each other through this trying time. Especially when the user is refusing treatment; then that time out of any other is when family needs each other the most.

Thank you.

grief
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About the Creator

Savana Verret

Just a small town girl trying to refine her writing. If you like something I post, feel free to tip me! It would really help motivate me to keep writing.

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