First-Time Mom Overload

The minute you announce that you are pregnant everyone seems super eager to get you things. This is a wonderful thing. People love to buy baby stuff, for some reason. And people love to buy baby stuff for babies that they don't have to look after. So, naturally, you can get a little overwhelmed as a first-time mom.

If you've never had a baby before, if you have little experience with small children, you will quickly discover that there is a whole new language you are about to learn.

People will ask you if you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding.

People will ask if you are using cloth or disposable diapers.

People will ask if you are buying baby food or making your own.

People will ask if you plan on sleep training your child.

People will ask if you are going to use pacifiers or alternatives.

People will ask you if you are going to stay home or go back to work.

The questions people will ask will drive you crazy, but they mean well. And as a first-time mom, you should listen to everything people tell you and then ultimately find your own way. But, before you even really have time to enjoy the fact that you are growing a little person, you are being swamped with all of these questions. You are being encouraged to make decisions about things you hadn't even considered.

You will learn the names of toys and brand names that you've never heard of. You will be mildly overloaded with information. But you will need to just take a deep breath and hope for the best.

And, inevitably, people will begin to ask you if you have a registry. People want to know what they can do to help out. Your friends, who aren't yet parents, will gush at the idea of getting to buy you things. Your friends, who are parents, will call dibs on anything practical that helped them with their children. Your family will offer to buy things. Other people will give you hand-me-downs and clear out their basements in order to help you start out.

It is really a wonderful thing. And if you aren't picky about having things that are 100 percent brand new, then you can furnish your entire nursery with things given to you by others.

But let's go back to the concept of a registry. I debated this for a long time. As a first-time mom, I have no clue what even to put on a registry. I also felt awkward sending out a list of things I wanted other people to buy for me. The whole concept of a registry just didn't sit well with me.

However, as I approach my due date I finally sat down with another mom and drew up a registry. I eventually figured, what's the harm? No one is under obligation to buy me anything and, if nothing else, it is a useful list of things that I should have.

With my baby shower approaching, I figured it would give people an idea of what I still needed and what I wanted.

Ultimately, people will get you what they want to get you. You will end up with more of some things then you could ever use. But sometimes it is nice to have more than enough. Sometimes it is nice to know that if you have another child you will have plenty of stuff around. And, if nothing else, you could offer it to someone else expecting.

I'm still on the fence about registries. I'm still clueless when it comes to being a first-time mom. But I don't think anyone is ever really ready. After all, people are unpredictable, no matter what size they are. And you have little control over the actions of others.

So, accept the generosity of people. Thank people who want to help you out. Take whatever you can get and sort through the chaos when you have a moment. It will all seem like a lot, but you will get the hang of it.

And remember, never be afraid to ask questions. Never be afraid to learn. And, ultimately, find your own way to become a wonderful parent.