Arguing With a Child

Arguing with a child is a losing battle. It is something that you likely shouldn't attempt if you want to keep your sanity. Because if you start an argument with a child it is likely that it will go on forever and you will not win.

This has a lot to do with the fact that children's brains don't function in the same way ours do. They are not logical. They feel more emotions and at a higher range than we do. The things that will ruin their day would not even register a beep on our radar.

There are many reasons why you might start an argument with a child. Perhaps you are trying to correct them on something they said wrong. Perhaps you are trying to get them to do something and they are resisting. Perhaps they simply had a bad day and, in you're attempt to make it better, you just get into a spiral argument about the events of their day and you will lose.

My favourite of these is always the last one. No matter what you do to try and improve their day, the drama that exists in their world will never stand up to logical reasoning. Children feel things differently than we do as adults. They process things differently. They are rarely concerned with anything outside of what directly impacts them and that direct impact can cause monumental stress to their day.

Perhaps their friend refused to play with them at recess. Perhaps they fell at school and bonked their head. Perhaps they have homework. Perhaps they have chores that interfere with their want to play outside with friends.

No matter what the situation is you will have no luck being rational with them. You will argue in circles for what feels like hours, and the minute they hit the wall of logic they will come up with some new reason why it is the worst day ever or why you are wrong.

Arguing with a child is a pointless endeavour. A child will sit there and play the "you are wrong" game until they fall asleep. They are tenacious. If they are set in their mind that what they believe is right, then it is almost impossible to sway them when they are in a heightened state of emotion.

You can try. You can take up that gauntlet, and I commend you if you do, but you are likely only going to be punishing yourself.

This is why, when a child poses an argument or opposition to a task, you have to respond with something other than confrontation. This is where your ability to be logical works to your benefit. You are the grown adult, do not resort to the childish arguing. The want to do so may be there, but you have to hold yourself to a higher standard.

Perhaps you speak clearly and sternly, pointing out that their argument is groundless. Perhaps you bribe them with something in order to bring closure to the dispute. Perhaps you turn whatever is "the world's worst task" into a game of sorts.

Being a parent is about problem-solving. You will have to resort to more creativity than you ever thought you possessed. It doesn't matter how well behaved or raised your children are, they will have meltdowns. They will have bad days and they will not handle them in a mature manner, because, newsflash, your children are not adults. You cannot hold them to the same standards as you do adults.

Children, especially those under ten years old will have bad days. Their "entire world" will explode around them and they will not be able to handle it. They will throw tantrums and they will shut down. They will sit and whine for a half hour about doing homework rather than simply starting the work that would only take ten minutes to complete.

Raising children is an adventure. You will be frustrated. You will want to throw things. You will want to bang your head against a wall. But, in all reality, you won't do these things. And that is because you are an adult and not a child.

And if all else fails, "because I said so" still wins every time.