A Life Lesson From a 7 Year Old

It makes me sad when I realize how much we live in such a world of judgement. We as a society are constantly passing judgement on others about so many things, from the way that someone looks to how big their house is or how nice their car is. We judge the way that others make decisions and are so quick to share our opinions when we don't have any idea what has happened in their life to get them to where they are today. The biggest judgement that I have faced is how I parent, and I know that many are in the same boat. So what if my kids don't always match. I have let my girls dress themselves from the age of 2 because I want them to develop their own style and their own personality, not because I am too lazy to make them look like they are ready for a photo shoot. What does it matter if they stay in pajamas all day on a Sunday when we are just laying around watching movies for the day? Who wants to be uncomfortable when they are trying to relax? Yes, my kids brush their hair, but we don't spend our days scrolling Pinterest for 30 minute hair ideas just so that we again look like we are ready for a photo shoot. I have 4 girls. They all have their own personality and they all like different things. Sometimes they care about what they look like and sometimes they don't, and some judge me because of that. There are some moms that really want to spend hours on their kids outfit choices and hair styles, and that is ok. There are some moms that want their kids to earn straight A's in school, but I am ok with a C because I don't base their future only on grades in school, and again, that is okay. I am not saying that they are bad moms, but at the same time, I am also saying that I am not a bad mom either. My house tends to be a mess 90% of the time, but does that make me a bad mom? No. It means that I let my kids have fun and I am ok with clutter. It is who I am as a parent. It is the way that I parent. Yes, I make my kids do their chores and make them earn their cell phones being paid. I make my girls read for 30 minutes every single night during the school year. I punish them when they do wrong. I teach them to be independent. And yes, there are times when I struggle and wonder if I am doing things the right way. But is there a "right way?" I don't know that there is. As long as you are putting a roof over their head, does it matter how much that roof costs? As long as they have food to eat, does it matter that most, if not all, is generic? As long as they have a bed to sleep in, does it matter if they have to share a room? If they have clothes to wear, does it matter if they are from a thrift store rather than brand new and name brand? No. It does not matter at all. So why do we judge ourselves against one another so often? We ALL love our children, but show it in different ways, because we are different. A few months ago is when all of this really came to light for me. I was having a bad day because I had a busy day at work and had listened to others judge the way that I parent for a few days prior. I was cleaning out Reese's book bag and in it was a card that she had made. I opened it and read what was written by my beautiful 7 year old (I will write in correct form as there were spelling errors and I want my readers to understand). "I am sorry but you have been mean a couple days. I still like you, but you need to treat others the way that you want to be treated. Love you, Reese." I must have read this card 100 times. My 7 year old daughter made a card for her friend after an argument. Not only did she make her a card, but she is sharing a lesson with this friend and still says that she loves her at the end, even when this little girl was mean to her. THIS card is how I knew deep down, I am doing something right as a mother. It doesn't matter what other moms say or what outsiders think. In my mind, all moms have good days and they have bad days. The best thing that we can do is support each other and show love for one another because believe it or not, we are all on the same journey!